m

LZ，即使你给父母再多，他们也是不满，那么，你是愿意用10元钱填这个无底洞，还是愿意用10000填呢？还是搭上你一生的幸福去填呢？

貌似LZ的父母并不缺钱，只是欲壑难填。

少联系吧，实在无聊加空虚就多找朋友聊聊。该拒绝的拒绝，啥人啥待。即使父母和子女，也不是非要委屈着交往的。

我不是鼓励你不孝，而是建议你自己心里有杆称。我一朋友就是，父母要求很多，每次回国都指责其不孝，还要求她经常回国，回家后所有支出都自己付，但从不问她在这边如何生活和回去后每次需花多少钱（她是博士）。她就很少给家里电话，并自己给裁了个给家里钱的数字，觉得够父母基本生活就行（她父母很年轻健康但很早就不工作不挣钱了），无论她父母指责她什么。她说：想过更好的生活，他们就应该出去挣点。

原帖由 man**imei2008 于 2009-12-27 12:58 发表
  你可以做PARTTIME啊， 就是帮小时工,  一个月也有500-600欧元, 还有像是肯德基啊,卖当老啊,都可以放学后去做的.

一个月500~600欧，除去房租水电吃饭交通，你还能剩多少？还要交学费。荷兰的最低保障都在每个月700欧左右。

这个帖子我跟到现在，越看越惊心，越看越觉得我父母真的是英明神武谋略纵天。我一上大三，他们就明确地对我说：我们把你抚养长大，完成高等教育，做到了父母应尽的责任和义务。至于你以后，近的如考研出国什么的，都不再我们的职责之内，远的就更不用说了。所以后来当临上飞机来荷兰前几小时，父亲从银行提了2000美元塞给我，说让我防身的时候，俺是感动的鼻子冒泡直到今天。

所以楼主，你的父母肯定不是那种“全天下最好的爸爸妈妈”，但是， 退一步海阔天空。如果你能放下过去，换个角度审视和父母的关系，可能会让你轻松许多。时常怀着一颗感恩的心，你会发现生活可能完全是另一个样子。

让你去文学城看看，比你惨的多的海了去了，而且大部分真的是自己十年寒窗苦读，一步一步奋斗过来的。这个帖子俺也不想再多说了。

我离开中国的时候，刚刚研究生毕业，身上就剩下几百块钱，我都掏给我妈了，她也收下了。她也没问问我上路有没有零花钱。在机场时，我差点连吃饭的钱都没有。
他们就是这么粗心地对待自己的女儿的。
要出国的那一天，我妈还用东西砸我，因为我不按照她的意愿做一些粗俗的事情，这些在我的日记里都写过了。其实，关于她我可以写很多很多。
很小的时候，我就想写一本书，描述我妈怎么虐待我。

楼主你真的好可怜，希望以后福建会有好的社会工作者，可以关心照顾到被虐待的孩子。
希望你的女儿能过的比你小时后幸福。也希望你好好对待自己的孩子。
我和我妈的关系也很特殊，有的时候我会觉的有这样的一个母亲很不好意思，她的很多为人处事我都不认同。但是偏偏有的时候，我的做法会不由自主的像她，觉的挺可怕的。
我是学心理的，所以在这方面我可能会多点自知自觉，我强烈希望自己可以少点我妈的影子，希望将来我的孩子可以不一样。我经常对我老公说要帮助我，如果我开始像我的妈妈。我妈妈老是说自己怎么样怎么样，都是因为我外婆怎样怎样对待她可是我不希望将来我对自己的孩子这样说。我想我可以有选折的权利。。

你完全可以把你的故事写出来，我想很多战友都很愿意倾听分享的

Quote from Chenchangheng:
下面的我的英文日记，也是我的真实生活，我常用英文写日记，觉得有些东西更好表达。
August 2, 2009 Rotterdam
when I’m about to leave China, a country that I’ve never stepped out of, I had nothing with me but a red suitcase which held a few summer dresses and a dictionary(Chinese and English). I was not sad to leave. I was just excited to see a new land that I’ve never been to and a man who’s going to meet me at the airport. It was not a day with sensational farewell with family, but a day of fight. As usual, I left that home with tears. But this time, I’m going to leave forever. Mother and father didn’t realize the consequence at that moment: the eldest one of the family and their hope is going to leave for a long time and live in a place that they couldn’t imagine how far away it can be. They also didn’t realize that I am not going to be with them when they got old and sick and need somebody to take care of. They supposed that I am going to bring money and fortune to the family once I go abroad, as the others in the city go to countries like Japan, Australia or Ireland. Those people work like a horse as second class citizen, live like in the hell abroad and save all the “sweaty” money back home. My parents made a big mistake; I am not going to one of them. I am going to discover my romance and new life in Holland, a country that I barely have any knowledge. I am not afraid of this strange land though, because I am going to be someone who loves me, and this gives me confidence. Everything is unclear to me there, but that he loves me is clear. I am going to discover the first time the mystery of love.

I remember I was standing in the living room helplessly because mother took away my suitcase and wouldn’t let me leave. It was not because she was not willing to let me go but she was angry with me because I didn’t do the thing in her will. She asked me to call all the relatives to announce this “big news” that I’m going abroad. The concept of Chinese relatives is much wider than western relatives. They are people like my grandmother’s sister’s son’s children who I’ve never met. I felt a bit embarrassed to call them for this private thing. But mother insisted that I should call and ensured me that some relatives will give me some money if they know that I’m going abroad. After knowing this, I was even more unwilling to call anybody, because I don’t want to own other people, and I was just embarrassed.

Mother was hysterias as usual.

“Are you afraid that I’m going to take away the money if they give it to you? I brought you up and I pay for all your education, don’t I deserve to have this little wish? You are already so unrespectable to me now; I don’t expect you to be nice to me if you’ll ever get rich in the future. I’m not going to let you go today if you don’t do what I tell you to! ”

Mother was shouting at me while pointing her forefinger angrily at me.

I was just afraid that I’m not going to get that suitcase, which carries all my beautiful clothing that I’m going to wear in the summer of Holland. And my dictionary of course, I need that in a completely strange place. Scared and threatened, I did what she told me to. Father couldn’t do anything while mother is doing that to me. He is dreadful of her since I have memory of him. All I could ask father to do is to carry that suitcase from the sixth floor to downstairs. They didn’t have an elevator in the building.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I enjoy reading them. It is really beautifully written. It even surprised me that beauty can be coming out of a sad land. - Du


“Chang, please help me go to Holland someday, I don’t want to live with your mother, I can’t stand her. You are my only hope now.” Father begged me secretly at the last moment before I was about to sit on the taxi.



My brother Hang heard father,



“Please don’t say these things today, sister, don’t listen to father’s nonsense”, he said. Hang is the only one that’s normal in the family. I’m going to miss him and take pity on him. He’ll still have to be with my parents for a while. Poor him! I’m just scared of my mother and I feel so freed that I’m going to be away from her. And father, he’s a piece of white paper for me. He seems to be invisible all the time.



Like all of us, he wants to escape, but he’s not able to. He’s a sacrifice of a sad and failed marriage. And we are the sacrifice of an unhappy family. From the day when I left that home, I knew that I was going to have a different life.

天哪，天下真有这样的父母吗？不过LZ的父母一直也挺不容易的吧。

愿楼主今后都能幸福、平安！

原帖由 unicorn24 于 2009-12-23 15:43 发表
中国福建

你怎么知道福建的？

原帖由 chenchangheng 于 2009-12-23 20:28 发表
福建福州

额   没看到这个·！